Unreciprocated love sucks, we get it.
But I’ll be writing this because I do have a soft heart for the nice guys.
The problem is not that you’re nice, the problem is that you are too nice it creeps people out.
There is a lot going on in this world and people don’t expect people to be nice at all times. That is reality. But here you are, trying to be all super hero and living up to the role of ‘a person you bring to meet your parents’ is leveling up. Don’t get me wrong, but let’s be honest, we want that kind of person but we don’t want to be fooled.
I’m a believer of love, just to tell you. So I am telling you this because L O V E is a treasure it deserves to be glazed with honesty.
I’ll admit, the nice guys out there do things for their prospect love interest genuinely, and it makes them happy and satisfied. It makes them feel like a man who they thought they are. Alright, let’s agree.
But when you reached that fine line between being a genuine giver and just proving a point, that’s not nice at all.
Some people lives up to that role because that is what they are branded. They are the sweet ones, the always available, the shoulder to lean on, the secret keeper, etcetera. What about the Not Nice about you? Don’t we deserve to know that too?
Anyways, being entitled as the nice guy is not detrimental, it’s just frightening. You accept that role and you live like it until every action you do becomes a norm to everyone else. The reality of your intentions depends on how it is perceived by other people. In fact, your intentions don’t really matter at all.
And here us all wondering, why are you “nice guys” get tousled behind?
Simple. You walk out with that white banner above your head declaring that you, in fact, is absolutely harmless wherein the idea of you being able to enter someone’s personal circle is welcomed.
You try to get a hold of a high level of intimacy and on the moment she rejected you, made you decide to succumb that soft-safe-secured spot in her life. “As long as you are happy”, you said.
You see, you don’t need to be a chameleon.
You don’t need to change yourself to match your potential love nor you need to bamboo sway on her terms just to stay on her life, just so you could live up to that “nice guy” reputation. You don’t need to present her a different version of yourself because that is what you think she would like, when in reality, you are entirely someone else. You don’t need to masquerade someone you are not. You don’t need to pretend that all is well when it is clearly not. Stop being masochistic, you son of a camel.
Similarly, on the inside, you view yourself as a lonely forever-virgin, or the guy who girls just love to ‘friendzone.’ Hello. You claim that title yourself.
Literally nowhere is it written that anyone has to like you with that exact same intensity as you like them, let alone want to date you. Nobody is contractually obligated to think positive things about you. You have to be a likable person to get people to like you. If you don’t do the work, people don’t like you. End of discussion.
And being the nice guy won’t do you any better. It’s like making people like you because you do them good. For the love of God, don’t be this circus master. Don’t believe and tell the world that everything’s going better and that you openly accept your significant role on her life as a comforting waiting shed just to cover how butt hurt you really were. If you have to convince someone to like you, I mean, what’s the point?
Enough portraying the nice guy when you know you are allowed to be someone other than “as long as you’re happy” type of a person, someone authentic. Jerk off, be mad, and move on. The world has so many places for you.
Do us a favor.