These are the days where I look back on how I have lived my life. When I was a kid, I used to wish through the sunsets to make me an adult with a nice pair of shoes and a good food on my left hand while texting on my right by the time I wake up the next day. Those were the days when I hate to be such a kid. You can’t do the stuff you want because — you’re just a kid.
The years after that, I was stir from a deep sleep, I was 14. The kid from ages ago was gone, and she became a girl. My perspective in life and how do I live my life and what do I want in my life is unhurriedly changing its increments. I began to wonder what it’s like to be a kid forever, and how does it feel to be a woman who owns a steady job and leaves her way out of the blankets. I was anxious about life. I became to ask Why? more often. I talk to myself more often. I write to myself often.
But it came down to one curious late night conversation with my jittery thoughts. I was afraid to age. I was obnoxious on the feeling that I’ll never be able to be amazed by the magic of waking up on my bed when the last thing I remember is falling asleep on the couch. I was afraid to never be able to play my heart out with my resonant tribe. I’ll never be able to take a bath outside of our house naked.
I couldn’t sleep. So I stood up and planned to drink some water to somehow erase the nagging reverie on my head. And I saw him – Dad. My Dad had aged. I’m beginning to picture out a hoary father but what surprise me is, It did not scared me. Not a bit. In fact, it build me, the grown up me.
I returned to my bed. I wasn’t afraid anymore. Something, no scratch that, Someone just planted the grit on me, to never be afraid about life, and about growing up. It was an opportunity. The privilege to think broader, better, and in a lot more perspective. The chance to give back to the people we love. The chance to take care of them. The chance to make them know, loud and proud, that we have unfurl progress. In and out.
Right. I realized I was excited. Life, what do you have for me?
(Photos taken from Tumblr)